[China Glass Net] A cup of warm water, keep the temperature unchanged, another cup of cold water, a cup of hot water. When you put your hands in cold water and then put them in warm water, you will feel warm and hot; when you put your hands in hot water and then put them in warm water, you will get warm and cool. In the same cup of warm water, there are two different feelings, which is the hot and cold water effect. This phenomenon occurs because everyone has a scale in their hearts, but the scales are inconsistent and not fixed.
As the mind changes, the scales are also changing. When the scale becomes small, the weight of the object it claims is large. When the scale becomes large, the weight of the object it claims is small. People's perception of things is affected by this scale. In interpersonal communication, we must be good at using this hot and cold water effect.
First, use the hot and cold water effect to get the praise of the other party
When people are in the world, it is inevitable that when there is a decline in their careers, it is inevitable that when they accidentally hurt Others, it is inevitable that when there is a need to criticize and criticize others, at these times, if they are not handled properly, they will reduce their image in others’ minds. . If you use the hot and cold water effect skillfully, you will not only reduce your image, but will get a good evaluation from others. When the career declines, you may wish to prematurely tell others about the worse situation. Even if you fail, you can be invincible. When you accidentally hurt others, you may apologize more than you should. Show your sincerity, and you will receive the effect of turning it into a jade; when you want to say unpleasant words, you may wish to declare it in advance, so that it will not cause other people's resentment, so that his body will come to your heart. These actions of using the hot and cold water effect are essentially to first reduce the "weighing scale" in the other's mind by one or two "foreshadowings". As a result, the "weight of the object weighed" is also a large car sales. The company's Lao Li can sell more than 30 cars a month, which is highly appreciated by the company's managers. For various reasons, Lao Li expects to sell only 10 vehicles this month. Lao Li, who understands the human nature, said to the manager: "Because of the tight monetary policy and the market slump, I estimate that I will sell at most 5 cars this month." The manager nodded and agreed with him. Unexpectedly, after a month, Lao Li actually sold 12 cars, and the company manager praised him a lot. If Lao Li said that he could sell 15 vehicles this month or not to say anything in advance, he only sold 12 cars. What would the company manager think? He will strongly feel that Lao Li has failed. Not only will he not praise, but he may blame. In this case, Lao Li reported the worse situation - at most 5 cars, to the manager, so that the "scale" in the manager's mind became smaller, so after the monthly performance, the evaluation of Lao Li will not be reduced. Instead, it has improved.
Ms. Cai rarely gave a speech, and she was forced to give a speech to a group of scholars and critics. Her opening remarks are: "I am an ordinary family woman. Naturally, I will not say fabulous words. Therefore, I ask the experts not to laugh at my speech..." After she said this, the audience’s mind "It's getting smaller. Many people who started to doubt her are also listening attentively." After her simple and simple speech, the scholars and critics of the audience felt very good. They thought her speech reached a very high level. They gave warm applause to Ms. Cai’s successful speech.
When a person can't directly give others a "hot water", they may wish to give others a "cold water" and then give others a "warm water". In this case, the person's "warm water" will also be obtained. A good evaluation of others.
Second, use the hot and cold water effect to encourage the other party to agree
Mr. Lu Xun said: "If someone proposes to open a window on the wall of the house, it is bound to be opposed by everyone, and the window will definitely not open. But if the roof is proposed to be knocked out, everyone will give up and agree to open a window." Mr. Lu Xun’s incisive discussion is about using the hot and cold water effect to encourage the other party to agree. When the proposal "to get rid of the roof", the "weighing scale" in the other party's mind became smaller, and the persuasive goal of "opening a window on the wall" would be smoothly agreed. The hot and cold water effect can be used to persuade others. If you want the other party to accept "a pot of warm water", in order not to let him refuse, let him try the taste of "cold water" and then put "warm water" on it, so he I will accept it with pleasure.
The strict manager of a cosmetics sales company, due to the needs of his work, intends to let Xiao Wang, a salesman in the urban area, work in a suburban branch. When looking for Xiao Wang’s conversation, Yan said: “The company research decides you to take on a new important job. There are two places, you can choose one. One is in a branch in the remote suburbs, and the other is in the suburbs. The company. Although Xiao Wang did not want to leave the urban area that is already very familiar, but also had to choose a slightly better point in the suburbs and suburbs - near the suburbs. Xiao Wang’s choice coincides with the company’s arrangements. Moreover, Yan Manager did not spend much more money. Xiao Wang also thought that he chose an ideal job position, both sides were satisfied and the problem was solved. In this case, the appearance of “outside suburbs†narrowed the “scales†in Xiao Wang’s mind, which enabled Xiao Wang to accept the work in the suburbs smoothly. This practice of Yan Manager, although giving people a feeling of playing with power, but if it is considered from the overall situation and responsible for Xiao Wang himself, this practice should also be promoted.
Lao Chen and Lao Shi are the negotiators of a large chemical factory. This is a golden partner, and there is almost no business that can't be discussed. They have won the respect and trust of the company's employees. It turned out that he was very good at using the hot and cold water effect to convince the other party. In general, Lao Chen always puts forward harsh demands, making the other party horrified, frustrated, and unable to do anything, that is, psychologically overwhelming the other side. When the other party felt that "the mountains were poor and there was no way to go", he appeared in the old age. He proposed a compromise plan. Of course, this plan is the target plan for their negotiations. In the face of this "Liu Huaming Mingyou Village", the other party happily signed a contract. In the face of this battle, there are some conditions in the program that are not conducive to each other. The other party will also think that the compromise is very good and acceptable. This is indeed a wonderful negotiation skill. The presupposed harsh conditions have greatly reduced the "scale" of the other party's mind, so that the other party does not hesitate to agree to the compromise. This kind of negotiation skills can play a huge role in business negotiations.
When people judge things, they inadvertently compare each other. Sometimes, in order for someone to accept something (warm water), it is better to use another, more difficult thing (cold water) as a contrast. For the sake of avoiding harm and avoiding the instinct of the dilemma, he will accept him so much. Accepted things (warm water).
Third, use the hot and cold water effect to stir up the other party's happiness
A philosopher saw a friend who was poor in poverty all day long and looked at him. He came up with a way to make him happy. He said to this friend: "Would you like to leave your wife? Will you be willing to discard your child? Will you be willing to take down your broken house?" Friends answered "No" one by one. The philosopher said: "Yes! You should be glad that you have a tacit partner. Fortunately, there is a lovely descendant. Fortunately, there is a warm old house. You should be happy!" So the friend's bitterness broke away. Melancholy left the forehead. In this fable-style story, the philosopher uses the cold and hot water effect to narrow the "scale" of his friends, thus making him happy with his own life. A person is happy and unhappy, usually not determined by objective pros and cons, but by his own mentality and so on. Using the hot and cold water effect, one can dig out new happiness from difficulties, frustrations and misfortunes. When a passenger airliner is about to land, the passengers on board will be suddenly notified. Because the airport is crowded, it is impossible to land. The estimated arrival time is Postponed for 1 hour. Suddenly, there was a complaint in the cabin, and the passengers were waiting for this difficult time to spend. A few minutes later, the flight attendant announced that in another 30 minutes, the plane would land safely and the passengers relieved with relief. After another five minutes, the radio said that the plane is about to land now. Although they were ten minutes late, the passengers were overjoyed and clap their hands. In this case, the crew inadvertently used the hot and cold water effect, first of all to make the "scale" of the passengers smaller, when the plane fell behind, the fact that the passengers were not bored, but excited.
After careful consideration, the factory director decided to give the technician who had just hired a small salary of 12,000 yuan. Although the salary is not high, the summer director thinks that the small palace will accept it. The only concern is that the problem is not handled well. Influence his enthusiasm and creativity. Laocheng’s heavy summer factory manager came up with a magical method. He said to the small palace: “Based on the reality of our factory, we can only pay you an annual salary of 8,000 yuan.†After a pause, the summer director continued: “But 12,000. Thousands of dollars can also be considered, what do you think?†Xiaogong’s listening to “8,000 yuan†was a bit unpleasant, and “scales†narrowed down. When I heard “12,000 yuan,†I felt a little bit in my heart. I am happy. He said cheerfully: "I listen to the director of your factory." Xiachang said: "12,000 yuan is already very high compared to other people in the factory. To tell you the truth, I am the director. I am hesitant about this, but as long as we work together and fight hard, it is to sell iron, I have to send 12,000 yuan to your hand." Xiaogong heart moved hot. In this case, the summer factory manager used the hot and cold water effect to make the other party's salary not high, not only frustrated, but also happy.
If you let the other party taste the taste of "cold water" first, it will make the "scale" in his heart narrow, so he will be happy with the "warm water". In interpersonal communication, if you let the other person be happy at a critical moment or even in a normal day, what else can't be done, and what kind of hard fight can't win?
In summary, the hot and cold water effect plays a three-fold role in the interpersonal communication by making the "scale" of others' hearts smaller, but if the "scale" of the other party's mind becomes larger, there will be three major negative effects. It is. People interact with others to avoid the emergence of these negative effects. Later, one can only correctly evaluate oneself and the external things if they keep their "scales" in a reasonable and consistent manner.
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